Third Culture Kids

I'm not completely a Third Culture Kid but a lot of these do apply! It is an interesting perspective on the world. When I saw this, I was like, yeah! I can relate to these!

You know you're a TCK when:
- You've heard this 'textbook' definition of a TCK before: "A third culture kid is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside their parents' culture. The third culture kid builds relationships to all the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the third culture kid's life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of the same background, other TCKs."

- "Where are you from?" has more than one reasonable answer.
- You've said that you're from foreign country X, and your audience has asked you which US state X is in.
- You flew before you could walk.
- You feel odd being in the ethnic majority.
- You go into culture shock upon returning to your "home" country.
- Your life story uses the phrase "Then we moved to..." three (or four, or five...) times.
- You wince when people mispronounce foreign words.
- You don't know whether to write the date as day/month/year, month/day/year, or some variation thereof.
- The best word for something is the word you learned first, regardless of the language.
- You get confused because US money isn't colour-coded.
- You think VISA is a document that's stamped in your passport, not a plastic card you carry in your wallet.
- You get homesick reading National Geographic.
- When asked a question in a certain language, you've absentmindedly respond in a different one.
- You miss the subtitles when you see the latest movie.
- You've gotten out of school because of monsoons, bomb threats, and/or popular demonstrations.
- You speak with authority on the subject of airline travel.
- You have frequent flyer accounts on multiple airlines.
- You constantly want to use said frequent flyer accounts to travel to new places.
- You know how to pack.
- You have the urge to move to a new country every couple of years.
- The thought of sending your kids to public school scares you, while the thought of letting them fly alone doesn't at all.
- You think that high school reunions are all but impossible.
- You have friends from 29 different countries.
- You sort your friends by continent.
- You have a time zone map next to your telephone.
- You realize what a small world it is, after all.

The Blog Bug

Wow! I guess I'm slow on the uptake. Blogging has become an incredible way to get your message out there. I've been checking out blogs on various subjects but focusing on blogs about single parenthood.

It is kind of nice to see there are a lot of responsible dads out there who really take parenting seriously and not as an onerous obligation. It gives me renewed hope.

It is also nice to see that I'm not the only one dealing with all the various issues that come with being a single parent. I've commented on dating, adult sleepovers, communication, etc. It is nice to see that there are so many other people out there dealing with the same issues that I am and getting an idea of how they approach them. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm a bad mom...sometimes it reinforces the fact that I'm doing the best I can. I tend to be more practical. I'm not giving up my life for my child. I'm bringing my child into my life. I have a lot of experiences that I want to share with my daughter. I've traveled a lot in my life and I want to show her the world, not limit her world out of fear that she might see or hear something that will make her uncomfortable. If it does, we can talk about it. Life can be uncomfortable or downright cruel...she needs to learn how to deal with it when she has support so that when it happens while she is on her own she knows what to do.

I know, I know. Parents are supposed to protect their children from the evils of the world. Sure, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't know about the evils. We shouldn't hide the evil in the world from them. It isn't going to go away. She will someday find herself confronted by something "not good" and I hope she has the skills and wherewithall to lessen the impact on her life. I also don't want her to be afraid to take chances or explore. Knowledge is power...knowing what to do or not do when someone points a gun at you or how to negotiate with a customs officer in a 3rd world country can give you the freedom to travel to places that aren't sanitized for tourists.

Granted, my parents did draw the line for me. They wouldn't let me take the trip to Russia when I was 14 out of fear of the communist regime and me creating an international incident. However, they did let me go trek the Himalayas when I was 15. My daughter is 13 now and when I think about the things I was doing and where I was going at that age (I'd already traveled literally around the world by plane by myself), I think I'm sheltering her a bit too much.

Oh well, we do the best we can with what we have when we have it. That is all we can do, for better or for worse.

Wanderlust!

I have several friends who don't know each other who are traveling in Italy right now. Reading their posts makes me want to hit the road. The problem is that I don't have enough time to do everything I want or the money. Plus there is the whole deciding where to go.

I want to go to the beach. There is something about the beach that is so soothing and relaxing. It just refreshes my soul. The sound of the waves, the scent of the ocean, the feel of the sand under my feet, the warmth of the sun on my skin, the breeze blowing my hair, the blue of the water...I love the beach. My issue is that I've been spoiled after living in the tropics. The beaches here just aren't the same.

Then there is the Pilgrimage to Santiago. I want to make this pilgrimage. It can take anywhere from two to 6 weeks depending on how long I go for. But then I feel like I need to take extra time to go see other places that I've always wanted to see...Grenada, the Al-Hambra, Morrocco. Why can't I win the lottery so I can just travel?

And then there is Italy. I love Italy. I could live in Rome...or in a small town anywhere in Italy. But I've already been there twice. This provides the dilemma of going back to someplace I love and know I'll enjoy...or venture to other places that I want to visit and haven't been to, yet? With limited time and resources, how do you choose?

So, I end up going nowhere. Maybe I'll go to the beach for Christmas. I like the beach in winter as well as summer.

Catching up Mentally

Okay, so I had the excuse of having my class take up way too much of my time. Well, my class is over and I'm having a really hard time getting back into the groove of going to the gym. This week it was just way too easy to go home and chill out because I've been on the run for so long.

I mean, seriously, I spent the entire drive home on Tuesday with the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other about going to the 6:15 cycling class. I knew I needed to go. I wanted to go. I just couldn't make myself go. I got home and changed into my comfy clothes and did housework instead.

So, this morning as I'm getting ready to run out the door I saw the Experience Life magazine sitting on the coffee table where I'd thrown it when it came in the mail. For some reason, I picked it up and brought it to work with me. I read it today at lunch. Talk about good timing!

At first I tried to find the article on Inertia that is featured on the cover. As I was flipping I stopped on the page Friendly Frames where it talks about how and why you can sabotage yourself. Right there, number 1 was how losing weight can invite outside attention and comment. It made total sense to me.

"Visible changes in body shape and size often invite outside attention and
comment. This can leave you feeling more "on stage" and inspected than you find
comfortable. You may have mixed feelings about being more attractive, and
particularly about attracting romantic attention."

I had a total freak out at an SCA event back in November. I was hanging out, doing my normal thing but there was a subtle shift in the way guys were responding to me. I got hit on by a guy young enough to be my son! Instead of it being playful flirting, it got serious really fast. I had to keep leaving to different parts of the party because it stopped being playful and the guys were trying to get me to go off with them. I finally ran off to a quiet campfire and, out of the blue, it happened again with someone I've never even flirted with before. I ran off to my bed...alone! Now, I'm not a prude and in the past I would never have had a problem with hooking up with any one of these guys for the night. I don't know why I freaked out.

Then, at Gulf Wars, the same thing happened. I had guys hitting on me left and right. A little playful flirting went a long way! Luckily, I found someone to keep me company because otherwise I might have spent a large part of the war hiding by my campfire.

Everywhere I went, I heard "Wow! You look great!" At work even...Wow, Lisa, you've lost a lot of weight since you started here. At first it was flattering and I kind of liked it but now it just makes me uncomfortable. When I look in the mirror, I still the 340lb Lisa, not the 230lb Lisa. Then I wonder what will it be like if I ever get down to my "ideal" weight. Would I even recognize myself?

I never realized how invisible I really was until now I'm suddenly in a spotlight, or at least that is how it feels.

As I read the rest of the items, I realized that I still have a long way to go emotionally. That is going to have to be the next phase. Getting my head on board with the body. Sigghhhh...

The Economy, Life, and Everything

So, I'm beginning to get worried about my job. The bad economy is beginning to take its toll on my company. Sales haven't been good and it looks like we are going to lose a big deal . If this deal doesn't go through, we will be looking at more staffing cuts.

I'm trying to get motivated but it is really hard. I have folks stepping on my toes left and right. I'm finding it hard to stay motivated and I keep getting distracted. I need to recommit to my job but I just want to put my head in the sand and hide.

I'm really having to resist going on a shopping spree. Retail therapy is what I need. But I don't really need anything. I have a ton of home repair projects, but not the time to do them.

I'm eating too much and not working out enough. I need to get back on track.

Obsessions

I tend to get temporarily obsessed with thoughts, ideas, or topics. Sometimes, it is something I want to do like a new craft or hobby. I will research the hell out of it for weeks then forget about it for months. Sometimes, it is something that is going on with me and I have to research all the possibilities...like my thyroid issues. I wonder if anyone else does this.

Today, I was looking up period ways to paint pavilions. I found stencils and several good websites with pictures of period pavilions. I'm excited about the idea of painting a design on my pavilion. There are several different ideas that I like but I need to pick one and go with it. That is the hard part. I can't make up my mind. I haven't found one design style that makes me go "That's the one!"

Good thing I can't do anything about it until after I get my pavilion in about 6 weeks.